“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” – Ellen G. White
To begin, let me ask all the people reading this article to answer what is true love according to you?Please take a moment to pen down what you feel.
I am pretty sure some may come up with answers like “True love is all about being connected to a person with heart and mind”,”True love is accepting someone with all its flaws”,etc.
But let me ask you people can you really identify the difference between your heart and mind?Can you really tell what comes from heart and what from mind?Isn’t accepting someone with all its flaws sounds more like a favor than true love?
Well,true love is the most misunderstood topic in this era where youth take it as a status symbol,a channel to satisfy some of their needs,a medium of time pass and a mode to enjoy.
Have you ever realized how the mother to a new born child starts showering her unconditional love the moment the nurse puts the baby in her hand?Here is where the answer lies to the question, what is true love-its just getting lost in the gleam of those eyes first met,the world stops for a second,the mind stops functioning,its just only the heart which beats aloud.
Infatuation vs True Love
Infatuation is just when a person looks good at a glance,he or she just fits in your imagination or standards and you think you are in love.For instance,lets say someone’s beauty dimensions closely fit in the standards of beauty defined by you say a sharp nose,toned face,big eyes,etc you think its love and start dating that person but next day you realize your temperaments don’t match its not because your partner has changed its because your imagination changes frequently,when someone passes your first level of imagnation you set up even harder level next time.
True love on the other hand is free from the restrictions of imaginations,it is unconditional and pure.True love is when you always feel the desire to meet someone,look at them endlessly,admire all their flaws.True love is not buying costly gifts,celebrating birthdays or planning trips.Its all about helping your partner to achieve success,motivating them and holding their back when they are bouncing off the walls.
As you all know a sapling cant grow by merely just planting,it needs a proper ecosystem with balanced light and moisture to blossom.Similarly,in true love your partner will rightly know what you need and what you don’t.
In short true love is when two people dream for a single thing,set their goals and work together to achieve them.
CHARACTERISTICS OF TRUE LOVE
- Love speaks kindly:True love always realise the words one uses to convey feelings,it never criticizes,demonizes or demoralizes instead it always cherishes and appreciates its partner.
- Love forgives quickly:Your ego wants to hold onto every slight and injustice,but lasting love requires burying the hatchet daily.Its forgiving your partner for the sake of peace,sanity and love.
- Love gives generously:Love gives without expectation of reciprocation.Love gives abundantly,shares willingly and values creating happiness.
- Love helps to express freely:In true love you can conversate with your partner about topics haunting you since long,you can speak anything that come in your mind without any pre-processing.Love is when you can express your feelings,frustration,sorrows,etc freely without even thinking for a second.
- Love is selfless– True love is wherein your partner forgets his or her wants and just fulfills your desires happily.
- Love is unconditional– A true lover will never want anything in return for his efforts except his or her partner’s happiness.
- Love is opinionless– The person who loves you truly will never have any opinions on how you look,what you wear and what you eat.
- Love is courageous– True lover will always have the courage to accept you as his or hers infront of anyone.
- Love condemns wrong– True love will never appreciate your wrong deeds but will always celebrate the good ones.
- Love never judges– True love will never judge you on your past rather it will help you to improve things that went wrong in the past with all sincere efforts.
SIGNS OF TRUE LOVE
“Bach k rehna tu ishq se tera sab kuch mita dege tu cheez kya hai,yeh teri raakh tak ko jala denge”
True love is being able to see a person when he or she is not even present,able to listen him or her when he or she is not even speaking.
Yes,you all read it write true love is all about observation,physical presence is never necessary to fall in love.
Have you ever felt why your parents become silent and emotional when you are about to leave your home to start a new life somewhere away from them?
Its because they cant see you away from themselves and that is what is exactly true love when for a moment only you will never want to lose the sight of the person you love.
“Tum nahi to mai kya hun,tere hone ki vajah se mai hun,teri vajah s mai hun”
Have you ever felt the pain of the wounds you never got,have you ever felt stressed for the problem that was never yours,have ever cried seeing someone crying? Okay okay don’t get confused,i just want to say that true love is understanding and feeling the plight of your partner and coming with solutions to resolve it.
One of the most important sign of true love is when all the big fancy restaurants,all the materialistic things,all the showcase stops catching your eye and you just believe in simplicity.You stop impressing by booking fancy dinner dates at a high class restaurants or lounges all you want a is a small room with four walls to patiently listen to what all your partner wants to speak.In spite of wasting time and money at such places,what you want is investing every second in understanding your partner even better.
Respecting your partner,always keeping him or her in high esteem and fighting for them even if they are wrong is a sign of love.Keeping them as priorities,fulfilling all their wishes is love.
Sacrifice is also a sign of love,getting separated at times when things don’t go well is also love and avoiding each other for the sake of each other’s personal happiness is also love.
Let me explain you with a very easy example,say you got a wound in your hand and if the hand is not immediately detached from your body,it will lead to spread of poison in the blood.What will you do?Cut off your hand right but will you do it with hatred inside?No,because you can never forget that this hand till now made you felt complete and you have to sacrifice it now for your survival and well being.In the same way,true love will never ever deteriorate you as a person it will rather fade away if you dont grow and blossom with time.
There are 7.8 billion people on this earth but why you got attracted to a single one,ever thought this?Its because you have been born and brought up in a certain environment with a set of rules called ethics and etiquettes.You had your set of choices either influenced by family or friends,you grew up watching,reading and looking at things you like and one fine day someone who eventually who fits in all the above parameters meets your eye and this single person feels so complete to experience the entire world together so now the story begins, a story to live and to cherish for years to come.
At last i would just like to say
“Darkness remains darkness and light remains light until and unless both come together to make the world bright.”
Love can never be imposed on you because its you who decides whom to love and then eventually all things keep on happening and you wont ever be able to realize what made you do a particular thing or to display some sort of action,you start feeling changes in oneself,purpose of living changes and you keep on thriving. You and your partner eventually become two bodies and one soul,feeling complete in one other and working hard to achieve best form of life.
“Thinking all about keeps me awake,dreaming about you helps me sleep and being together with you keeps me alive”
Hope all could get an insight about love,and the ones truly in love felt connected.
Do comment and tell me have you ever felt such proximity with anyone in life?
Are you in love?
Also please do tell me about your definition of love in the comment box.